Hi Folks,,,,
We have migrated to WordPress and to a new domain WWW.spillbean.COM
Please do visit and continue enjoying the exploits of the Fun Bloggers - Kiviniar & R-Vinki
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Friday, October 20, 2006
Hi Folks,,,,
We have migrated to WordPress and to a new domain WWW.spillbean.COM
Please do visit and continue enjoying the exploits of the Fun Bloggers - Kiviniar & R-Vinki
http://www.spillbean.com/
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Lateral thinking
Question : You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2
Cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything
else
with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will
become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other
Cigarette
another deadly answer. Scroll down a little
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Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win
Matches. Using the matches that you win, you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough, one more deadly answer.... scroll down.
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Start praising one cigarette, The other will get jealous & Start
Burning
Monday, October 16, 2006
Cool One liners to bring a smile on your face
Ø When I was born, I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
Ø If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
Ø Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Ø Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
Ø I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Ø Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Ø Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?
Ø I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
Ø The road to success is always under construction.
Ø I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
Ø A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Ø Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Ø Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
Ø When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ø Born free; Taxed to death.
Ø Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.
Ø Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
Ø Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Ø If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
Ø I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
Ø A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Ø The hardest part of skating is the ice.
Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
Ø The trouble with being punc tual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.
Ø If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
Ø If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
Ø Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Ø Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
Ø I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Ø Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
Ø Is man one of God's blunders or is God one of man's blunders?
Ø I've never been drunk, but often I've been over served.
Ø The road to success is always under construction.
Ø I say no to drugs -- they just don't listen!
Ø A friend in need is a pest indeed.
Ø Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
Ø Work is fine if it doesn't take up too much of your time.
Ø When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Ø Born free; Taxed to death.
Ø Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don't have film.
Ø Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
Ø Smile -- it makes people wonder what you're up to.
Ø If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.
Ø I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork.
Ø A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
Ø The hardest part of skating is the ice.
Ø The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot; the guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
Ø The trouble with being punc tual is that there's no one there to appreciate it.
Ø If our constitution allows us free speech, why are there phone bills?
Friday, October 13, 2006
Happy old man
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six."
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Nice moral...
When things in your life seem almost too much to
handle, when 24 Hours in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar . . . and the coffee.
A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill
it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured
it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents into
the jar, effectively filling the empty space between
the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your
life.
"The golf balls are the important things - your God,
family, your children, your health, your friends, and
your favorite passions - things that if everything
else was lost and only they remained, your life would
still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like
your job, your house, and your car.
"The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he
continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the
golf balls.
"The same goes for life.
"If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that
are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness.
Play with your children.
"Take time to get medical checkups.
"Take your partner out to dinner.
"Play another 18.
"There will always be time to clean the house and fix
the disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that
really matter.
"Set your priorities.
"The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your
life may seem,there's always room for a cup of coffee
with a friend."
Please share this with someone you care about.
I JUST DID.
handle, when 24 Hours in a day are not enough,
remember the mayonnaise jar . . . and the coffee.
A professor stood before his Philosophy class and had
some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very
large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill
it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the
open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured
it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from
under the table and poured the entire contents into
the jar, effectively filling the empty space between
the sand.
The students laughed.
"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
"I want you to recognize that this jar represents your
life.
"The golf balls are the important things - your God,
family, your children, your health, your friends, and
your favorite passions - things that if everything
else was lost and only they remained, your life would
still be full.
"The pebbles are the other things that matter like
your job, your house, and your car.
"The sand is everything else--the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he
continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the
golf balls.
"The same goes for life.
"If you spend all your time and energy on the small
stuff, you will never have room for the things that
are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your
happiness.
Play with your children.
"Take time to get medical checkups.
"Take your partner out to dinner.
"Play another 18.
"There will always be time to clean the house and fix
the disposal.
"Take care of the golf balls first, the things that
really matter.
"Set your priorities.
"The rest is just sand."
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what
the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.
"It just goes to show you that no matter how full your
life may seem,there's always room for a cup of coffee
with a friend."
Please share this with someone you care about.
I JUST DID.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
A good collection....
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
- Anonymous
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
- Anonymous
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
Woman inspires us to do great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
- Dumas
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
- Sigmund Freud
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
- Anonymous
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight dinner, softmusic and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Anonymous
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
- Anonymous
"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- Anonymous
"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."
- Anonymous
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it.
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Anonymous
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
- Anonymous
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
- Anonymous
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
- Anonymous
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
- Anonymous
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
- Anonymous
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
- Anonymous
| |
| |
Monday, October 09, 2006
The Silent Treatment ...............Women!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at5:00 AM " He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by
the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
Best 10 hacks ever made
Early 1990s
Kevin Mitnick, often incorrectly called by many as god of hackers, broke into the computer systems of the world's top technology and telecommunications companies Nokia, Fujitsu, Motorola, and Sun Microsystems. He was arrested by the FBI in 1995, but later released on parole in 2000. He never termed his activity hacking, instead he called it social engineering.
November 2002
Englishman Gary McKinnon was arrested in November 2002 following an accusation that he hacked into more than 90 US military computer systems in the UK. He is currently undergoing trial in a British court for a "fast-track extradition" to the US where he is a wanted man.
1995
Russian computer geek Vladimir Levin effected what can easily be called The Italian Job online - he was the first person to hack into a bank to extract money. Early 1995, he hacked into Citibank and robbed $10 million. Interpol arrested him in the UK in 1995, after he had transferred money to his accounts in the US, Finland, Holland, Germany and Israel.
1990
When a Los Angeles area radio station announced a contest that awarded a Porsche 944S2 for the 102nd caller, Kevin Poulsen took control of the entire city's telephone network, ensured he is the 102nd caller, and took away the Porsche beauty. He was arrested later that year and sentenced to three years in prison. He is currently a senior editor at Wired News.
1983
Kevin Poulsen again. A little-known incident when Poulsen, then just a student, hacked into Arpanet, the precursor to the Internet was hacked into. Arpanet was a global network of computers, and Poulsen took advantage of a loophole in its architecture to gain temporary control of the US-wide network.
1996
US hacker Timothy Lloyd planted six lines of malicious software code in the computer network of Omega Engineering which was a prime supplier of components for NASA and the US Navy. The code allowed a "logic bomb" to explode that deleted software running Omega's manufacturing operations. Omega lost $10 million due to the attack.
1988
Twenty-three-year-old Cornell University graduate Robert Morris unleashed the first Internet worm on to the world. Morris released 99 lines of code to the internet as an experiment, but realised that his program infected machines as it went along. Computers crashed across the US and elsewhere. He was arrested and sentenced in 1990.
1999
The Melissa virus was the first of its kind to wreak damage on a global scale. Written by David Smith (then 30), Melissa spread to more than 300 companies across the world completely destroying their computer networks. Damages reported amounted to nearly $400 million. Smith was arrested and sentenced to five years in prison.
2000
MafiaBoy, whose real identity has been kept under wraps because he is a minor, hacked into some of the largest sites in the world, including eBay, Amazon and Yahoo between February 6 and Valentine's Day in 2000. He gained access to 75 computers in 52 networks, and ordered a Denial of Service attack on them. He was arrested in 2000.
1993
They called themselves Masters of Deception, targeting US phone systems. The group hacked into the National Security Agency, AT&T, and Bank of America. It created a system that let them bypass long-distance phone call systems, and gain access to private lines
Early 1990s
Kevin Mitnick, often incorrectly called by many as god of hackers, broke into the computer systems of the world's top technology and telecommunications companies Nokia, Fujitsu, Motorola, and Sun Microsystems. He was arrested by the FBI in 1995, but later released on parole in 2000. He never termed his activity hacking, instead he called it social engineering.
November 2002
Englishman Gary McKinnon was arrested in November 2002 following an accusation that he hacked into more than 90 US military computer systems in the UK. He is currently undergoing trial in a British court for a "fast-track extradition" to the US where he is a wanted man.
1995
Russian computer geek Vladimir Levin effected what can easily be called The Italian Job online - he was the first person to hack into a bank to extract money. Early 1995, he hacked into Citibank and robbed $10 million. Interpol arrested him in the UK in 1995, after he had transferred money to his accounts in the US, Finland, Holland, Germany and Israel.
1990
When a Los Angeles area radio station announced a contest that awarded a Porsche 944S2 for the 102nd caller, Kevin Poulsen took control of the entire city's telephone network, ensured he is the 102nd caller, and took away the Porsche beauty. He was arrested later that year and sentenced to three years in prison. He is currently a senior editor at Wired News.
1983
Kevin Poulsen again. A little-known incident when Poulsen, then just a student, hacked into Arpanet, the precursor to the Internet was hacked into. Arpanet was a global network of computers, and Poulsen took advantage of a loophole in its architecture to gain temporary control of the US-wide network.
1996
US hacker Timothy Lloyd planted six lines of malicious software code in the computer network of Omega Engineering which was a prime supplier of components for NASA and the US Navy. The code allowed a "logic bomb" to explode that deleted software running Omega's manufacturing operations. Omega lost $10 million due to the attack.
1988
Twenty-three-year-old Cornell University graduate Robert Morris unleashed the first Internet worm on to the world. Morris released 99 lines of code to the internet as an experiment, but realised that his program infected machines as it went along. Computers crashed across the US and elsewhere. He was arrested and sentenced in 1990.
1999
The Melissa virus was the first of its kind to wreak damage on a global scale. Written by David Smith (then 30), Melissa spread to more than 300 companies across the world completely destroying their computer networks. Damages reported amounted to nearly $400 million. Smith was arrested and sentenced to five years in prison.
2000
MafiaBoy, whose real identity has been kept under wraps because he is a minor, hacked into some of the largest sites in the world, including eBay, Amazon and Yahoo between February 6 and Valentine's Day in 2000. He gained access to 75 computers in 52 networks, and ordered a Denial of Service attack on them. He was arrested in 2000.
1993
They called themselves Masters of Deception, targeting US phone systems. The group hacked into the National Security Agency, AT&T, and Bank of America. It created a system that let them bypass long-distance phone call systems, and gain access to private lines
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Idiots
BROOKVALE IDIOT
The North Shore Times News crime column reported that a man walked into Brookvale McDonalds at 8:50AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash.The clerk turned him down because she said she couldn't open thecash register without a food order. When the man ordered a Big Mac,the clerk said they weren't available until 10:30 am as only thebreakfast menu was on offer. Frustrated, the man walked away.
ADELAIDE IDIOTS
Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM machine in Adelaide's Henley Street by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their Toyota Landcruiser, but instead of pulling the front panel off the Machine they pulled the bumper off their 4WD. Scared, and attracting attention from oncoming traffic, they left the scene and drove home, with the chain still attached to the machine, their bumperstill attached to the chain, and with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. No, they did not use a stolen car.
WOLLONGONG IDIOT
A man walked into a Seven-Eleven, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
ROOTY HILL IDIOT
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, andrun. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window with all his might. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Apparently, the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. And the whole event was caught on videotape, which the store owner subsequently sold for use on TV.
ROOTY HILL IDIOT
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, andrun. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window with all his might. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Apparently, the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. And the whole event was caught on videotape, which the store owner subsequently sold for use on TV.
PORT MACQUARIE IDIOT
When a man attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Port Macquarie street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor homenear spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal petrol and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. He had tried to siphon the petrol by first sucking it up the hose. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
BROOKVALE IDIOT
The North Shore Times News crime column reported that a man walked into Brookvale McDonalds at 8:50AM, flashed a gun and demanded cash.The clerk turned him down because she said she couldn't open thecash register without a food order. When the man ordered a Big Mac,the clerk said they weren't available until 10:30 am as only thebreakfast menu was on offer. Frustrated, the man walked away.
ADELAIDE IDIOTS
Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM machine in Adelaide's Henley Street by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their Toyota Landcruiser, but instead of pulling the front panel off the Machine they pulled the bumper off their 4WD. Scared, and attracting attention from oncoming traffic, they left the scene and drove home, with the chain still attached to the machine, their bumperstill attached to the chain, and with their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. No, they did not use a stolen car.
WOLLONGONG IDIOT
A man walked into a Seven-Eleven, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter.The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.
ROOTY HILL IDIOT
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, andrun. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window with all his might. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Apparently, the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. And the whole event was caught on videotape, which the store owner subsequently sold for use on TV.
ROOTY HILL IDIOT
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a brick through a liquor store window, grab some booze, andrun. So he lifted the brick and heaved it over his head at the window with all his might. The brick bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Apparently, the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. And the whole event was caught on videotape, which the store owner subsequently sold for use on TV.
PORT MACQUARIE IDIOT
When a man attempted to siphon petrol from a motor home parked on a Port Macquarie street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor homenear spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal petrol and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. He had tried to siphon the petrol by first sucking it up the hose. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Friday, October 06, 2006
Embarrassing situation
Embarrassing Situation
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman
sitting alone. After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her, "Er...
excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice :
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them. The young man is surprised,
shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes,
and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how
people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THREE THOUSAND
THATS TOO MUCH !
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Management Lesson
Management Lesson
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Management Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."
At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.
Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it. The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down. And the next day, and the next.
This grated on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff.
By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself. So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"
The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"
With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."
Management Lesson: "Be sure there is a problem in the first place before working hard to solve one."
Enhance your GK
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
The Mona Lisa had no eyebrows.
When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
"I Am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
Our eyes remain the same size from birth onward, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching TV.
A person will die from total lack of sleep sooner than from starvation. Death will occur about 10 days without sleep, while starvation takes a few weeks.
Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying
The Mona Lisa had no eyebrows.
When the moon is directly overhead, you weigh slightly less.
Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, never telephoned his wife or mother because they were both deaf.
"I Am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Grimm's Fairy Tales
The King's Son Who Feared Nothing
THERE was once a King's son, who was no longer content to stay at home in his father's house, and as he had no fear of anything, he thought, "I will go forth into the wide world, there the time will not seem long to me, and I shall see wonders enough." So he took leave of his parents, and went forth, and on and on from morning till night, and whichever way his path led it was the same to him. It came to pass that he got to the house of a giant, and as he was so tired he sat down by the door and rested. And as he let his eyes roam here and there, he saw the giant's playthings lying in the yard. These were a couple of enormous balls, and nine-pins as tall as a man. After a while he had a fancy to set the nine-pins up and then rolled the balls at them, and screamed and cried out when the nine-pins fell, and had a merry time of it. The giant heard the noise, stretched his head out of the window, and saw a man who was not taller than other men, and yet played with his nine-pins. "Little worm," cried he, "why art thou playing with my balls? Who gave thee strength to do it?" The King's son looked up, saw the giant, and said, "Oh, thou blockhead, thou thinkest indeed that thou only hast strong arms, I can do everything I want to do." The giant came down and watched the bowling with great admiration, and said, "Child of man, if thou art one of that kind, go and bring me an apple of the tree of life." "What dost thou want with it?" said the King's son. "I do not want the apple for myself," answered the giant, "but I have a betrothed bride who wishes for it. I have travelled far about the world and cannot find the tree." "I will soon find it," said the King's son, "and I do not know what is to prevent me from getting the apple down." The giant said, "Thou really believest it to be so easy! The garden in which the tree stands is surrounded by an iron railing, and in front of the railing lie wild beasts, each close to the other, and they keep watch and let no man go in." "They will be sure to let me in," said the King's son. "Yes, but even if thou dost get into the garden, and seest the apple hanging to the tree, it is still not thine; a ring hangs in front of it, through which any one who wants to reach the apple and break it off, must put his hand, and no one has yet had the luck to do it." "That luck will be mine," said the King's son.
Then he took leave of the giant, and went forth over mountain and valley, and through plains and forests, until at length he came to the wondrous garden.
The beasts lay round about it, but they had put their heads down and were asleep. Moreover, they did not awake when he went up to them, so he stepped over them, climbed the fence, and got safely into the garden. There, in the very middle of it, stood the tree of life, and the red apples were shining upon the branches. He climbed up the trunk to the top, and as he was about to reach out for an apple, he saw a ring hanging before it; but he thrust his hand through that without any difficulty, and gathered the apple. The ring closed tightly on his arm, and all at once he felt a prodigious strength flowing through his veins. When he had come down again from the tree with the apple, he would not climb over the fence, but grasped the great gate, and had no need to shake it more than once before it sprang open with a loud crash. Then he went out, and the lion which had been lying down before, was awake and sprang after him, not in rage and fierceness, but following him humbly as its master.
The King's son took the giant the apple he had promised him, and said, "Seest thou, I have brought it without difficulty." The giant was glad that his desire had been so soon satisfied, hastened to his bride, and gave her the apple for which she had wished. She was a beautiful and wise maiden, and as she did not see the ring on his arm, she said, "I shall never believe that thou hast brought the apple, until I see the ring on thine arm." The giant said, "I have nothing to do but go home and fetch it," and thought it would be easy to take away by force from the weak man, what he would not give of his own free will. He therefore demanded the ring from him, but the King's son refused it. "Where the apple is, the ring must be also," said the giant; "if thou wilt not give it of thine own accord, thou must fight with me for it."
They wrestled with each other for a long time, but the giant could not get the better of the King's son, who was strengthened by the magical power of the ring. Then the giant thought of a stratagem, and said, "I have got warm with fighting, and so hast thou. We will bathe in the river, and cool ourselves before we begin again." The King's son, who knew nothing of falsehood, went with him to the water, and pulled off with his clothes the ring also from his arm, and sprang into the river. The giant instantly snatched the ring, and ran away with it, but the lion, which had observed the theft, pursued the giant, tore the ring out of his hand, and brought it back to its master. Then the giant placed himself behind an oak-tree, and while the King's son was busy putting on his clothes again, surprised him, and put both his eyes out.
And now the unhappy King's son stood there, and was blind and knew not how to help himself. Then the giant came back to him, took him by the hand as if he were someone who wanted to guide him, and led him to the top of a high rock. There he left him standing, and thought, "Just two steps more, and he will fall down and kill himself, and I can take the ring from him." But the faithful lion had not deserted its master; it held him fast by the clothes, and drew him gradually back again. When the giant came and wanted to rob the dead man, he saw that his cunning had been in vain. "Is there no way, then, of destroying a weak child of man like that?" said he angrily to himself, and seized the King's son and led him back again to the precipice by another way, but the lion which saw his evil design, helped its master out of danger here also. When they had got close to the edge, the giant let the blind man's hand drop, and was going to leave him behind alone, but the lion pushed the giant so that he was thrown down and fell, dashed to pieces, on the ground.
The faithful animal again drew its master back from the precipice, and guided him to a tree by which flowed a clear brook. The King's son sat down there, but the lion lay down, and sprinkled the water in his face with its paws. Scarcely had a couple of drops wetted the sockets of his eyes, than he was once more able to see something, and remarked a little bird flying quite close by, which wounded itself against the trunk of a tree. On this it went down to the water and bathed itself therein, and then it soared upwards and swept between the trees without touching them, as if it had recovered its sight again. Then the King's son recognized a sign from God and stooped down to the water, and washed and bathed his face in it. And when he arose he had his eyes once more, brighter and clearer than they had ever been.
The King's son thanked God for his great mercy, and travelled with his lion onwards through the world. And it came to pass that he arrived before a castle which was enchanted. In the gateway stood a maiden of beautiful form and fine face, but she was quite black. She spoke to him and said, "Ah, if thou couldst but deliver me from the evil spell which is thrown over me." "What shall I do?" said the King's son. The maiden answered, "Thou must pass three nights in the great hall of this enchanted castle, but thou must let no fear enter thy heart. When they are doing their worst to torment thee, if thou bearest it without letting a sound escape thee, I shall be free. Thy life they dare not take." Then said the King's son, "I have no fear; with God's help I will try it." So he went gaily into the castle, and when it grew dark he seated himself in the large hall and waited. Everything was quiet, however, till midnight, when all at once a great tumult began, and out of every hole and corner came little devils. They behaved as if they did not see him, seated themselves in the middle of the room, lighted a fire, and began to gamble. When one of them lost, he said, "It is not right; some one is here who does not belong to us; it is his fault that I am losing." "Wait, you fellow behind the stove, I am coming," said another. The screaming became still louder, so that no one could have heard it without terror. The King's son stayed sitting quite quietly, and was not afraid; but at last the devils jumped up from the ground, and fell on him, and there were so many of them that he could not defend himself from them. They dragged him about on the floor, pinched him, pricked him, beat him, and tormented him, but no sound escaped from him. Towards morning they disappeared, and he was so exhausted that he could scarcely move his limbs, but when day dawned the black maiden came to him. She bore in her hand a little bottle wherein was the water of life wherewith she washed him, and he at once felt all pain depart and new strength flow through his veins. She said, "Thou hast held out successfully for one night, but two more lie before thee." Then she went away again, and as she was going, he observed that her feet had become white. The next night the devils came and began their gambols anew. They fell on the King's son, and beat him much more severely than the night before, until his body was covered with wounds. But as he bore all quietly, they were forced to leave him, and when dawn appeared, the maiden came and healed him with the water of life. And when she went away, he saw with joy that she had already become white to the tips of her fingers. And now he had only one night more to go through, but it was the worst. The hob-goblins came again: "Art thou there still?" cried they, "thou shalt be tormented till thy breath stops." They pricked him and beat him, and threw him here and there, and pulled him by the arms and legs as if they wanted to tear him to pieces, but he bore everything, and never uttered a cry. At last the devils vanished, but he lay fainting there, and did not stir, nor could he raise his eyes to look at the maiden who came in, and sprinkled and bathed him with the water of life. But suddenly he was freed from all pain, and felt fresh and healthy as if he had awakened from sleep, and when he opened his eyes he saw the maiden standing by him, snow-white, and fair as day. "Rise," said she, "and swing thy sword three times over the stairs, and then all will be delivered." And when he had done that, the whole castle was released from enchantment, and the maiden was a rich King's daughter. The servants came and said that the table was already set in the great hall, and dinner served up. Then they sat down and ate and drank together, and in the evening the wedding was solemnized with great rejoicings.
From Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, Household Tales, trans. Margaret Hunt (London: George Bell, 1884), 2:134-139.
The King's Son Who Feared Nothing
THERE was once a King's son, who was no longer content to stay at home in his father's house, and as he had no fear of anything, he thought, "I will go forth into the wide world, there the time will not seem long to me, and I shall see wonders enough." So he took leave of his parents, and went forth, and on and on from morning till night, and whichever way his path led it was the same to him. It came to pass that he got to the house of a giant, and as he was so tired he sat down by the door and rested. And as he let his eyes roam here and there, he saw the giant's playthings lying in the yard. These were a couple of enormous balls, and nine-pins as tall as a man. After a while he had a fancy to set the nine-pins up and then rolled the balls at them, and screamed and cried out when the nine-pins fell, and had a merry time of it. The giant heard the noise, stretched his head out of the window, and saw a man who was not taller than other men, and yet played with his nine-pins. "Little worm," cried he, "why art thou playing with my balls? Who gave thee strength to do it?" The King's son looked up, saw the giant, and said, "Oh, thou blockhead, thou thinkest indeed that thou only hast strong arms, I can do everything I want to do." The giant came down and watched the bowling with great admiration, and said, "Child of man, if thou art one of that kind, go and bring me an apple of the tree of life." "What dost thou want with it?" said the King's son. "I do not want the apple for myself," answered the giant, "but I have a betrothed bride who wishes for it. I have travelled far about the world and cannot find the tree." "I will soon find it," said the King's son, "and I do not know what is to prevent me from getting the apple down." The giant said, "Thou really believest it to be so easy! The garden in which the tree stands is surrounded by an iron railing, and in front of the railing lie wild beasts, each close to the other, and they keep watch and let no man go in." "They will be sure to let me in," said the King's son. "Yes, but even if thou dost get into the garden, and seest the apple hanging to the tree, it is still not thine; a ring hangs in front of it, through which any one who wants to reach the apple and break it off, must put his hand, and no one has yet had the luck to do it." "That luck will be mine," said the King's son.
Then he took leave of the giant, and went forth over mountain and valley, and through plains and forests, until at length he came to the wondrous garden.
The beasts lay round about it, but they had put their heads down and were asleep. Moreover, they did not awake when he went up to them, so he stepped over them, climbed the fence, and got safely into the garden. There, in the very middle of it, stood the tree of life, and the red apples were shining upon the branches. He climbed up the trunk to the top, and as he was about to reach out for an apple, he saw a ring hanging before it; but he thrust his hand through that without any difficulty, and gathered the apple. The ring closed tightly on his arm, and all at once he felt a prodigious strength flowing through his veins. When he had come down again from the tree with the apple, he would not climb over the fence, but grasped the great gate, and had no need to shake it more than once before it sprang open with a loud crash. Then he went out, and the lion which had been lying down before, was awake and sprang after him, not in rage and fierceness, but following him humbly as its master.
The King's son took the giant the apple he had promised him, and said, "Seest thou, I have brought it without difficulty." The giant was glad that his desire had been so soon satisfied, hastened to his bride, and gave her the apple for which she had wished. She was a beautiful and wise maiden, and as she did not see the ring on his arm, she said, "I shall never believe that thou hast brought the apple, until I see the ring on thine arm." The giant said, "I have nothing to do but go home and fetch it," and thought it would be easy to take away by force from the weak man, what he would not give of his own free will. He therefore demanded the ring from him, but the King's son refused it. "Where the apple is, the ring must be also," said the giant; "if thou wilt not give it of thine own accord, thou must fight with me for it."
They wrestled with each other for a long time, but the giant could not get the better of the King's son, who was strengthened by the magical power of the ring. Then the giant thought of a stratagem, and said, "I have got warm with fighting, and so hast thou. We will bathe in the river, and cool ourselves before we begin again." The King's son, who knew nothing of falsehood, went with him to the water, and pulled off with his clothes the ring also from his arm, and sprang into the river. The giant instantly snatched the ring, and ran away with it, but the lion, which had observed the theft, pursued the giant, tore the ring out of his hand, and brought it back to its master. Then the giant placed himself behind an oak-tree, and while the King's son was busy putting on his clothes again, surprised him, and put both his eyes out.
And now the unhappy King's son stood there, and was blind and knew not how to help himself. Then the giant came back to him, took him by the hand as if he were someone who wanted to guide him, and led him to the top of a high rock. There he left him standing, and thought, "Just two steps more, and he will fall down and kill himself, and I can take the ring from him." But the faithful lion had not deserted its master; it held him fast by the clothes, and drew him gradually back again. When the giant came and wanted to rob the dead man, he saw that his cunning had been in vain. "Is there no way, then, of destroying a weak child of man like that?" said he angrily to himself, and seized the King's son and led him back again to the precipice by another way, but the lion which saw his evil design, helped its master out of danger here also. When they had got close to the edge, the giant let the blind man's hand drop, and was going to leave him behind alone, but the lion pushed the giant so that he was thrown down and fell, dashed to pieces, on the ground.
The faithful animal again drew its master back from the precipice, and guided him to a tree by which flowed a clear brook. The King's son sat down there, but the lion lay down, and sprinkled the water in his face with its paws. Scarcely had a couple of drops wetted the sockets of his eyes, than he was once more able to see something, and remarked a little bird flying quite close by, which wounded itself against the trunk of a tree. On this it went down to the water and bathed itself therein, and then it soared upwards and swept between the trees without touching them, as if it had recovered its sight again. Then the King's son recognized a sign from God and stooped down to the water, and washed and bathed his face in it. And when he arose he had his eyes once more, brighter and clearer than they had ever been.
The King's son thanked God for his great mercy, and travelled with his lion onwards through the world. And it came to pass that he arrived before a castle which was enchanted. In the gateway stood a maiden of beautiful form and fine face, but she was quite black. She spoke to him and said, "Ah, if thou couldst but deliver me from the evil spell which is thrown over me." "What shall I do?" said the King's son. The maiden answered, "Thou must pass three nights in the great hall of this enchanted castle, but thou must let no fear enter thy heart. When they are doing their worst to torment thee, if thou bearest it without letting a sound escape thee, I shall be free. Thy life they dare not take." Then said the King's son, "I have no fear; with God's help I will try it." So he went gaily into the castle, and when it grew dark he seated himself in the large hall and waited. Everything was quiet, however, till midnight, when all at once a great tumult began, and out of every hole and corner came little devils. They behaved as if they did not see him, seated themselves in the middle of the room, lighted a fire, and began to gamble. When one of them lost, he said, "It is not right; some one is here who does not belong to us; it is his fault that I am losing." "Wait, you fellow behind the stove, I am coming," said another. The screaming became still louder, so that no one could have heard it without terror. The King's son stayed sitting quite quietly, and was not afraid; but at last the devils jumped up from the ground, and fell on him, and there were so many of them that he could not defend himself from them. They dragged him about on the floor, pinched him, pricked him, beat him, and tormented him, but no sound escaped from him. Towards morning they disappeared, and he was so exhausted that he could scarcely move his limbs, but when day dawned the black maiden came to him. She bore in her hand a little bottle wherein was the water of life wherewith she washed him, and he at once felt all pain depart and new strength flow through his veins. She said, "Thou hast held out successfully for one night, but two more lie before thee." Then she went away again, and as she was going, he observed that her feet had become white. The next night the devils came and began their gambols anew. They fell on the King's son, and beat him much more severely than the night before, until his body was covered with wounds. But as he bore all quietly, they were forced to leave him, and when dawn appeared, the maiden came and healed him with the water of life. And when she went away, he saw with joy that she had already become white to the tips of her fingers. And now he had only one night more to go through, but it was the worst. The hob-goblins came again: "Art thou there still?" cried they, "thou shalt be tormented till thy breath stops." They pricked him and beat him, and threw him here and there, and pulled him by the arms and legs as if they wanted to tear him to pieces, but he bore everything, and never uttered a cry. At last the devils vanished, but he lay fainting there, and did not stir, nor could he raise his eyes to look at the maiden who came in, and sprinkled and bathed him with the water of life. But suddenly he was freed from all pain, and felt fresh and healthy as if he had awakened from sleep, and when he opened his eyes he saw the maiden standing by him, snow-white, and fair as day. "Rise," said she, "and swing thy sword three times over the stairs, and then all will be delivered." And when he had done that, the whole castle was released from enchantment, and the maiden was a rich King's daughter. The servants came and said that the table was already set in the great hall, and dinner served up. Then they sat down and ate and drank together, and in the evening the wedding was solemnized with great rejoicings.
From Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm, Household Tales, trans. Margaret Hunt (London: George Bell, 1884), 2:134-139.
What a driver ;)
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when theyfinally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to Dick'swindow."Goodafternoon, sir.""Good afternoon, any problems?" "No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half anhour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single trafficviolation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of ournew "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with thischeck for $30,000.00."Dick lets out a big sigh of relief: "Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."Awkward silence, then his wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listento him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."His Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"At this time his trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the borderyet?"
A patrol car has been following this vehicle for about 30 minutes now, when theyfinally decide to pull it over. The officer steps out and walks up to Dick'swindow."Goodafternoon, sir.""Good afternoon, any problems?" "No sir. My partner and I have been following and observing you for a half anhour now. We ascertained that you have not committed one single trafficviolation, you have not gone over the speed limit by even 1 mph, you were courteous towards the fellow drivers on the road. Therefore, as a part of ournew "Solid Driving Awareness Program", I would like to present you with thischeck for $30,000.00."Dick lets out a big sigh of relief: "Oh good! Now I can finally pay to get my driver's license."Awkward silence, then his wife sitting in the passenger seat goes, "Don't listento him, officer. He always talks nonsense when he has been drinking."His Grandma, who's a little hard of hearing, adds from the backseat, "Aye aye aye, didn't I tell you not to go in a stolen car?"At this time his trunk pops open and a head peeks out, "Are we over the borderyet?"
Sardar Detectives :D
A policeman was testing 3 Singh brothers who were training to become
detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first Singh answers, "That's
easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The
policeman says, "Well...uh.. .that's because the picture I showed is
his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the
picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is
your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily
responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear
are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the
best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the
third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect,
how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The
Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The
suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and
speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect
wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait
here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to
you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile
on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear
contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute
observation? "
"That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses
because he only has one eye and one ear."
detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first Singh a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The first Singh answers, "That's
easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The
policeman says, "Well...uh.. .that's because the picture I showed is
his side profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the
picture for 5 seconds at the second Singh and asks him, "This is
your suspect, how would you recognize him?"
The second Singh smiles and says, "Ha! He'd be too easy
to catch because he only has one ear!" The policeman angrily
responds,
"What's the matter with you two? Of course only one eye and one ear
are showing because it's a picture of his side profile! Is that the
best answer you can come up with?"
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the
third Singh and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect,
how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid answer." The
Singh looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, "The
suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and
speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect
wears contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait
here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to
you on that." He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the
suspect's file in his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile
on his face.
"Wow! I can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear
contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute
observation? "
"That's easy," the Singh replied. "He can't wear regular glasses
because he only has one eye and one ear."
To win ... Let others win
There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honor andprizes.One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt somethinginteresting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that thefarmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors."How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighborswhen they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" thereporter asked."Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollenfrom the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If myneighbors grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn,cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn."The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. Hiscorn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves. So it isin the other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must helptheir neighbors and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to livewell must help others to live well. The value of a life is measured bythe lives it touches.Success does not happen in isolation. It is very often a participativeand collective process. So share the good quality corn.....
There was a farmer who grew superior quality and award-winning corn.Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won honor andprizes.One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learnt somethinginteresting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that thefarmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors."How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighborswhen they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" thereporter asked."Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollenfrom the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If myneighbors grow inferior, sub-standard and poor quality corn,cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn.If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn."The farmer gave a superb insight into the connectedness of life. Hiscorn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves. So it isin the other dimensions! Those who choose to be at harmony must helptheir neighbors and colleagues to be at peace. Those who choose to livewell must help others to live well. The value of a life is measured bythe lives it touches.Success does not happen in isolation. It is very often a participativeand collective process. So share the good quality corn.....
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